Additional Series
Community Teaching Moment Part 7 - Community Need
Barbara L. Klika, MSW, Undershepherd, Life Coach
October 2013
Situation: Recognition and Response to a Need for Community—an action to take, an item to obtain, etc.
Infant: An infant can’t care for their own needs so they must receive. It is basically impossible for an infant to observe and then respond to a perceived need to help others so they are completely dependent on the care of others to do so. People who remain at an infant level of maturity despite their chronological age will also not recognize or respond to needs that arise for a community because they are accustomed to other people taking this initiative. They may also have a sense of entitlement that others must provide for all of their needs which is highly inappropriate for people beyond infancy/child age. On the other hand, some adults at infant maturity level find themselves unable to receive, fearing they are being judged as incompetent.
Child response: A child has learned to care for their own needs but has not yet understood the need to also care for others. Depending on their family background, and birth order, some children who have younger siblings do become aware of and may at least identify an unmet need if not try to help. This would be on a very personal level, perhaps identifying something that they themselves would find uncomfortable if it were happening, or not happening, for them. A confident child will also ask for help when needed. Some children have had parenting that encourages a sense of competency, that they are able to do things for themselves or try new things. Overly indulgent parenting encourages dependency and may lead to children who do not believe they can do anything well enough. Negligent or abusive parenting leaves children uncertain and unsure of themselves, which may cause children to behave in a similar way if they see a need in others, harming or ridiculing rather than being helpful. It may also lead to children who try to rescue others. These behavior patterns tend to persist as a person grows older unless they make a conscious effort to re-evaluate and mature.
Adult/parent response: An individual at the adult or parent maturity level recognizes the responsibility to care for one owns needs as well as others so they may be aware of needs on the community level as well as take the initiative to do what is necessary to meet the need. They know how to remain calm and balanced; to “act like themselves” despite a difficulty. There may well be sensitivity as to when it is appropriate or necessary to step in to meet a need and when not to do so. They may well know when it is good to exhibit their own skills/knowledge to help and when it is appropriate to open the way for someone of less experience to meet the need, providing a learning and accountability opportunity. An adult who is not at adult/parent maturity stage may fall into child-like behavior which may also include a tendency to respond in destructive ways as described above.
Elder response: A person at elder maturity level has raised their own children and is now looking toward the needs, growth and maturity of the entire community, seeing what may be needed. Elders will perceive needs and initiate actions as adults/parents do, specifically in light of the identity and character of the entire community. Additionally, they will also step back and look at not only the specific incident, but at the larger picture of what ramifications there may be for the entire community. They will then initiate some consideration and planning to more effectively deal with this unmet need or to prevent a future incident. They will encourage the participation of all as they are able and help to provide accountability as well as learning opportunities.
I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in anything ye be otherwise minded,
God shall reveal even this unto you.
Nevertheless, whereto we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us mind the same thing.
Brethren, be followers together of me, and mark them which walk so as ye have us for an ensample.
Philippians 3: 14-17
<Maschil of Asaph.> Give ear, O my people, to my law: incline your ears to the words of my mouth.
I will open my mouth in a parable: I will utter dark sayings of old:
Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us.
We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the LORD,
and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done.
For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel,
which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children:
That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born;
who should arise and declare them to their children:
That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments:And might not be as their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation; a generation that set not their heart aright, and whose spirit was not steadfast with God. Psalm 78: 1-8
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath:but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck. Proverbs 1: 6-8
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Col 3:20-21
Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honour, especially they who labour in the word and doctrine. For the scripture saith, Thou shalt not muzzle the ox that treadeth out the corn.
And, The labourer is worthy of his reward.
Against an elder receive not an accusation, but before two or three witnesses.
Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear. 1 Tim 5:17-20
But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. Luke 6:35
'And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.' This [is] the first commandment. "And the second, like [it, is] this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." Mark 12:30-31 NKJV
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Comm_Teaching_Moment_Recog_and_Response_to_Comm_Need__Oct_2013.docx