Articles
ENTERING INTO MESSIANIC COMMUNITY AND COMMITMENT
Barbara L. Klika, MSW, Undershepherd, Life Coach
February 2007
We recognize the desire and need to live in close relationship in order to walk out
Torah. Our community is not unlike those of a number of groups of people who
choose a more personally interconnected lifestyle than attendance weekly at a
church or synagogue could provide. This preference seems to us to be a part of
the identity that each fellowship must determine for themselves; not something
that can be legislated or enforced against anyone’s wishes. We know of only one
other Torah pursuant community that lives in such an integrated lifestyle—our
“sister” community in CARE, Inc. of Baldwin, Michigan. (Please let us know if
you know of others in our Messianic circles who have already walked down this
path!)
SOCIAL EXPECTATIONS
Independence---------------------------------------------------Dependence
American culture especially values independence. I have felt the importance of
being able to do for myself or knowing that our family can hire something done
that we can’t do, rather than having to exchange services on an after-hours basis
with friends. I became aware that some people view this as a weakness as I
once did; preferring the self-sufficiency that a steady and sizeable income brings.
While it is often more timely to accomplish necessary tasks this way, it is also
more impersonal, and based on the economic system of exchange of services or
goods for money. This not necessarily a bad thing! The observation here has to
do with relational living and what we expect or will tolerate from one another.
All too often the opposite extreme—dependence—is viewed as weakness. It is
considered undesirable to be dependent upon others for care and provision. It is
necessary for children to be dependent upon their parents for their care and
support. The goal of this training time is for them to grow into mature adults. As
they grow into their teens, they become less and less dependent upon their
parents and become more responsible for their own care and decisions. It is also
true that people may be ill or incapacitated and really do need to be dependent.
This can be difficult to understand when there is a long-term disability. There is
such a thing as unhealthy dependency in which adults do not become
independent. This is often due to gaps in their maturity during childhood. They
desire people to make decisions for them and in a way, parent them.
Independence ---------INTERDEPENDENCE------------Dependence
As I have learned more about community and Torah pursuance, it has become
more apparent to me that neither of these extremes are Scriptural.
Interdependence is much closer to the model of walking out Torah; the ability to
care for oneself without excessive, “clingy”, “needy” demands of others yet the
ability to receive support and nurturance when it is genuinely needed. A balance
between giving and receiving, recognizing one another’s strengths and drawing
on them to give life, even if that strength might be found in someone who is
considered “disabled” in some way.
Moving toward living in close proximity as a community is a lot like swimming
upstream: the American ideal of the nuclear family living independently is deeply
etched into our culture. So much so, that even the idea of intentional community
living has seemed strange and outlandish. Still, when we add in the model of
cooperatives for management of machinery, fuel and various other mutual needs
in farming communities, we can see a thread of intentional community living that
is woven into our culture.
FINANCIAL AND LEGAL ARRANGEMENTS
Having given a bit of background and some terms that will be used, it is time to
move on in our description as to what is involved in the establishment of
intentional communities. For our SAM community, we have already concluded
that we would want to retain individual autonomy for each person or family’s
finances, while cooperatively working together to cover all costs. Thus our
preference is for a housing cooperative, which would be called a moshave in
Israel, rather than a kibbutz where people pool all of their income and assets.
We have begun the research into the establishment of an LLC (Limited Liability
Corporation) non-profit status as the legal entity over the property; whether it
would be by lease or purchase. We know that the residents would own a share
in the LLC, but not specifically the physical units as it would be in a condominium
arrangement. We have much to learn yet in this process. It is not yet clear how
to balance the costs between family units headed by a wage earner or one who
is disabled and not gainfully employed. The disparity of income needs to be
recognized yet if we are to accomplish our purposes; we cannot lose sight of the
costs for the entire complex. We do suspect that our Abba is in the process of
knitting something together here which we cannot yet fully see. Our intent is to
make use of the strengths and skills of our community in a way to develop
adequate income to sustain the whole body of believers. We know we cannot do
this alone and are exploring possible opportunities for other individuals, families
or ministries to stand along with us.
PERSONAL PRACTICAL AND EMOTIONAL ADJUSTMENTS
While we are doing this legal and financial research, the personal aspects of
coming together in such an arrangement have taken a front row seat! As I write,
our little community is giving consideration to what would happen if we are able
to acquire a facility that would accommodate about 12 families in small apartment
areas with joint use of two common large kitchen, dining and living room areas.
At the moment we don’t know if we will be able to move into this place but both
excitement and apprehension are evident.
APPREHENSIONS
Although we have spent time in development of relationships, how to resolve
conflicts well, and have paid attention to maturity levels and needs for our
members, only three of our families have lived across the hall from one another.
Moving to a facility in which perhaps 10 other family units would be just down the
hall would involve finding out how well our relationships are developed under this
close proximity. Will we be able to sustain our joy-giving base at least most of the
time? We already know that we must expect regular challenges and do have
confidence that the base of covenant relationships will hold.
The thought of “downsizing” of belongings from an entire house, or even from an
apartment is bringing up all manner of concerns. We can’t help but compare this
process to the future time in which all of Ephraim and Yehudah will be called into
the Land. How much in the way of material possessions does one really need?
Are we being weaned in preparation for that time?
Our preference, expressed many times over the past few years, is that we do not
want to live in one another’s “back pocket” yet this opportunity for a housing
cooperative in one facility would mean more togetherness than we had originally
envisioned. Rather than completely contained apartments down the hall from
one another, it looks as though we would have bedrooms, half baths, and sitting
room and a kitchenette in each unit. If all of one family’s belongings do not fit in
each unit, we would provide storage rooms or cubicles elsewhere or may even
use furniture in the common areas of the facility. We would have the two large
living room and dining room areas as well as a library and several offices, an
exercise room and a prayer closet room so there would be opportunities for quiet
places throughout.
EXCITEMENT
The possibilities that blossom in our mind’s eye about this Messianic community
and our opportunity to model a Torah pursuant lifestyle on a daily basis are our
motivation.
Currently, we hold Hebrew and shofar classes, Life Model and youth group two
evenings a month each. We sponsor HaYesod classes for interested people
once or twice a year as well as making our weekly Shabbat praise, prayer and
study gatherings open once a month for interested people. We offer a monthly
teleconference for women new to Torah lifestyle and are launching a second one
for Messianic Community Leaders as well as offering two monthly newsletters.
Counseling and personal life coaching services are also available. As resources
permit, we have also been able to provide emergency food and household
supplies as well as car maintenance for example.
The vision of being able to hold our Pesach and Sukkot gatherings in our own
facility and yard is one of the joyful aspects we would appreciate. To be able to
find a prayer partner just down the hall or someone to stay with the kids in an
emergency, to be in a “neighborhood” in which no one has Halloween
decorations, Easter eggs or Christmas trees without apology or explanation
would be a joy for us, not to worry about having enough gas or weather
conditions to be able to gather, to both give and receive support on a daily basis,
to have the opportunity to learn even more about what it is like to walk out Torah
and become more like our Messiah: these things are the excitement, anticipation
and hope we bring to the process.
We are about “living out” restoration and joy for people who have not had that
experience of being able to feel whatever they feel and still find those who are
glad to be with them. It is God getting our attention and teaching us how to be
more like Him in our relationships with others in a very up-close and personal
way.
We enjoyed the concluding remarks in a teaching about joy, fear and love bonds,
made by Jim Wilder, pastor/psychologist and leader within Shepherd’s House,
the group that developed the Life Model. I couldn’t think of any more fitting
words than these to conclude this portion of our work on the development of
community. (BLK)
None of us are happy till we’re all back in joy camp.
Where we’re glad to be together
And when we can tell other people,
Yes, it was as bad as that
But I’m glad to be with God in the middle of that
And I’m glad to be with you
And I ‘m glad if nothing else you can tell me if you’re upset with me
Or I’m glad that if nothing else you can tell brother so-and-so that you are upset
with me even if you won’t tell me directly.
And at least you’re glad to be with somebody even if it isn’t me,
And I want to bless that.
And I want us to become a fellowship where ultimately all of us are glad to be
together.
And you know what that‘ll be like? That’ll be impossible.
That would be a call for hopeless despair because we could never do that.
It would be so unthinkable that I just can’t even imagine getting there.
But I want a front row seat…Because I serve a God Who can. Come with me.
Developing Joy Strength; video teaching by E. James Wilder, PhD, copyright by International
Center for Biblical Counseling, 1551 Indian Hills Dr., Sioux City, IA 51104.
www.set-apart-ministries.org (920) 634-2760
EnteringintoMessianicCommunityandCommitment.February2007.pdf