Additional Series
Community Teaching Moment Part 8 - Evaluating a Community Event
Barbara L. Klika, MSW, Undershepherd, Life Coach
October 2013
Situation: Community Discussion/Evaluation of an Event (De-briefing for Learning Potential)
Infant: An infant can’t care for their own needs and can’t communicate opinions or experiences. They are dependent on those more mature than they are to express any gratitude or concerns for what they may have experienced. Others who remain at an infant maturity level may have a hard time when asked to articulate their experience, perhaps not knowing what could or should be commented about, perhaps lacking confidence to speak. Conversely, they may also dominate a discussion with personal likes/dislikes which may not be relevant to others and can be very disruptive to the community if not redirected.
An individual at an infant stage of maturity needs to to receive what others offer, hopefully for their good. Community members work cooperatively together to understand the needs and help meet and express them so that the individual can grow in joy and confidence. This is true for chronological age infants as well as older people at the infant stage.
Child response: A person at a child maturity level has learned to care for their own need but is yet learning the need to care for others appropriately. Their observations or evaluations of an event will likely be very personally relevant to their own direct experience. They may or may not be able to appreciate things that were for their good that they didn’t especially like, since the ability to do hard things and persevere is one task of this stage. They usually need help or encouragement to express their needs and grow in awareness of their own unique identity, talents and gifting while considering the event under discussion, which would include any need for redirection if irrelevant or disruptive comments arise.
Adult/parent response: An individual at adult or parent maturity level recognizes the need to care for one’s own needs as well as others. They recognize and are able to develop their identity, talents and giftings as part of a group and encourage bonding between members as experiences are reviewed. Along with articulating what they see as important for themselves and relevant to a good experience within the community, they also will look for opportunities to encourage participation of less experienced people and to help those at younger maturity levels learn to express their needs constructively. They will remain calm and balanced “acting like themselves” should difficulty arise in the discussion. An individual at adult/parent maturity stage will watch for opportunities to validate and encourage others as well as holding them accountable as needed. Those at adult/parent level maturity will understand and be supportive of each family unit in the context of community and will include these considerations in their participation.
Elder response: An individual at an elder stage of maturity has raised their own children and is now looking toward the needs, growth and maturity of the entire community. During discussion/evaluation of a community event in order to learn what was helpful and what was not helpful, the healthy functional community provides the structure for and recognition of those at an elder stage, which in turn provides opportunity for them to receive feedback on both individual and corporate wellbeing. Elders express their awareness of the impact of community behaviors on individuals within the community, and of individuals on the community at large. Their choices are again inclusive of adult/parent behaviors with the additional level of relationship with each individual so that they can consider the overall ability of the community to support, nurture, challenge, teach, love and care for one another in a way that is consistent with the community identity and calling.
There is no limit to the number of parent/adult/elder maturity level individuals that will greatly benefit a healthy community!
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. Romans 12:17
For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. Romans 8:6-8
Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you. Hebrews 13:17 ESV
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:1-4
But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. Luke 6:35
First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. 1 Timothy 2:1-4
Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body. Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” ... Hebrews 13: 1-25 ESV
'And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.' This [is] the first commandment. "And the second, like [it, is] this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." Mark 12:30-31 NKJV
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Com_Teaching_Moment_Discussion_Evaluation_of_Community_Event_Oct_2013.docx